What’s Your Anger Style?

Anger usually comes in 3 basic styles. We may switch styles depending on who or what is triggering our anger, but most of us lean to one style or another. Check the boxes that describe your anger style and use the blank lines to add any other appropriate descriptions.

Lock it up!      BEHAVIOR
* Withdraw emotionally
* Give the “silent treatment”
* Become ill or anxious
* Deny anger, but show it in other actions
 
 
REASONS
* I don’t have the right to be angry.
* Anger is inappropriate or childish.
* I may lose control of myself.
* I can’t cope with strong feelings.
* People will dislike me if I show anger.
* I may lose my job, or a relationship.
* I fear I will hurt or offend someone.
 

 

Turn it loose! BEHAVIOR
* Blowing up at people
* Getting physical or hurting people
* Threatening, shouting or swearing
* Blaming people
* Breaking things
* Flying off the handle at small things
* Bringing up old grievances
 
 
REASONS
* I need to assert my power over people.
* The best defense is a good offense.   
* I’m afraid of getting close to someone.
* I can’t stand to be wrong.
* I don’t know how to communicate calmly when angry.

 

Manage it! BEHAVIOR
* Remaining calm
* Focusing on the behavior, not the person
* Using “I” statements: “I feel angry when…”
* Sticking to the subject
* Allowing discussion to happen
 
 
REASONS
* Anger is a normal emotion-it’s okay to be angry.
* When I’m angry, I want to solve the problem that’s causing my anger.
* I want to be able to express anger appropriately.

 

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